It's a bit weird for me to talk about what happened this month, but it's interesting to comment on one thing or another.

Anyway, this was the most "fruitful" month for me as an artist. Even though I didn't post as many songs as I used to, at least I managed to maintain an interesting consistency, don't you think?

Four of my songs made it to the front page. The feeling of seeing these songs getting attention is really nice and I hope I can keep posting songs at this interesting rate.

I think the only song that hasn't gotten as much attention as I think it should is "Two Thousand". It's a song that mixes hyper pop with a number of other styles of electronic music. In particular, it's one of my favourite songs to listen to again. 

Anyway, it's been a great month; a lot of people have supported and guided me along the way. I learned new things, met new people and managed to prove myself once again as a musician and as a person. (ps.: it's not that hard not to be an asshole! Take the hint!)

I don't think I've ever been so productive in a month, even though I didn't post that much. I think it's been good to spread out the posting time. 

In fact, I think I should thank you for receiving these songs with such affection and taste. I think it's a bit rare that people like weird artists.

Anyway, thank you.

This has been meuny :P

I'm in the production of some singles just so my NG page won't die out.

I know I got myself a song frontpaged in the last couple days but even though it got 2k views in 3 days of existence, it kinda worries me how unactive I have been.

You know, I have a life outside the internet. I gotta do things that a normal human being normally would do. It is quite unnerving for me to enter this site without having anything to say or to share because it feels like an obligation for me.

I know it is not.

I'm postponing the EP thing a bit. It'll get released soon but not that soon. It is almost done, all i need is one more track and then it'll be posted exclusively here, on NG.

Also, another thing I wanna talk about a little.

Some people I've interacted with are known to have some controversial things related to them. I won't mention names but that worries me a lot. I am worried someone might mistake me for some sort of person I am not. I'm just an artist. All I do here is to post my art and to react on other people's art.

I know I may be weird or invasive sometimes but I mean no harm nor I mean anything macabre with anyone around me. It is just that I don't know how to properly interact with people in a language that's not my native tongue. If you misunderstood something I've said or found anything I've said or done rather offensive, please do tell. It is not my intention to harm anyone nor to harass anybody.

I'm saying this before anything shitty gets related to me. I know it'll, it is just a matter of time. Not because I'm a shitty person, but because i'm too naive and gullibe to tell apart wether or not I should interact with some people.

Even though I have my views on the world strongly afirmed irl. I don't like to mention anything related to my views on the internet for I don't want any commotion related to me. I just wanna make people happy and support anybody's will (as long as their will won't harm someone else).

I know this is a bit unexpected, all of sudden I am being way too political. But yeah, I thought it was needed for some reasons I don't really wanna mention.

anyways, this has been meuny.

What did you guys think about peppers' pop?

I'd really appreciate your feedback.

Yeah. I decided to work hard on something rather nasty.

You guys will know soon what i'm talking about.

it is nothing too edgy

it's just another ep.

I know i've been through some bad times recently but now i feel like i'm a tad bit better.

so, how are you guys? are ya doing any interesting project?

I can't decide wether or not I like some of my recently made music...

ah...

Something you guys should know is that most of my drawings and stuff are made during some depressive episodes I have.

I never actually made music when I was in this state, that'd be because when I'm having those I can't find any energy to put into effort.

The last song I've posted (Kashmir Aurafy) was made when I feeling a bit better.

Then I had a bloody shitty night and then proceeded to go bloody nuts

I've drawn. But also I've written a ton of messed up poetry

Normally, I would post those pieces of poetry here. However, I think that I shouldn't be sharing stuff that may harm other people. Even though it is not meant to offend anyone, maybe the way things are put can make someone relate to it and then proceed to feel bad about themselves.

Meuny isn't about depression even though I really like to play around that theme, for that's how I deal with my own sadness.

I know that oversharing what goes through my mind could get me banned for sharing too much stuff related to "chop suey".

I don't want to shit all over the quite nice day you're having, but keep in mind that if you see me posting a drawing, it is because I'm on a shite day, and probaly I'm pondering about many ways I can just stop my head from thinking.

Recently, I tried to go and start a project with @FlowerPuke. The songs I've made for it are actually quite good. But honestly, I think that the both of us should seek professional help before we do this together.

I couldn't help but have several breakdowns when trying to think how to actually cause a good impression with my music. Not because flower is an arsehole, on the contrary, she's a sweetheart. I felt trash for I couldn't feel any joy over my work. I liked how it sounded like but I couldn't feel anything relating to it.

It felt as if I had lost a part of me.

This feeling of uselessness started when I decided to take on an hiatus. I couldn't afford to keep making music whilst feeling like rubbish. I took some time for myself and actually, the first song I've made for flower got me feeling good. It felt like I was doing a decent job. But then I tried to come up with new Ideas and I freaked out.

I had a shit ton of ideas but I felt nothing over them. It felt empty.

I went nuts over this feeling.

My mind couldn't stop but think about "what if that's it? You won't feel anything about the thing that you most love. You're pretty much as dead".

I tried and forced myself to keep on distracting me away from these thoughts by making music.

All the situation regarding flower's personal issues (of which I don't know anything about) made me feel like shite. My depressed mind couldn't help but make me rush through the production of a song and then, when I had it finnished, I had shitty night trying to sleep.

I wish that girl flowerface actually recover from all this shite she's going through, for I'm still down for the album thingy.

But honestly, yeah, I'm pretty much postponing any plans I had regard this project I tried to engage with her.

I can't put my ideas on FL without feeling like I'm shite.

When I posted Kashmir, I felt a little better. I actually felt something regarding to that song and seeing people liking it made me feel a little less like crap.

I'll post the things I've made for the album in a bit. I really wanted this to become a thing but due to both my and flower's poor mental health, I think it is actually better for the both of us that we do our own thing until we actually feel like we can do it.

I'm feeling like trash and even though she liked the two songs i've made until now, i couldn't help but think that i wasn't doing enough.

I wanted this album to be like a gift just so she can be sure that there's people that actually respect her as an artist.

But I can't find myself any strength to overcome this utter feeling of uselessness.

anyways... This has been meuny.

this is one of my best songs in my humble opinion

Idk

Something about it makes me wanna eat candy

I want to make my own style of eletronic music

I want my music to sound as unique as it can be.

I want it to become weird!

Yeah. I'm pretty much going crazy by this point

I'm really happy rn

a great friend of mine just got frontpaged on their newest album

go give it a listen if you like some experimental ambient/dnb stuff