- What's this? - I hear my heart pounding - You're bothering me.
- What's bothering you?
- My chest is beating - I reply hoarsely - and it's bothering me.
- Why does it bother you?
- It makes me anxious, I can't relax with this commotion.
- Why?
- I'm thinking of two possibilities: it prevents me from concentrating on my deep thoughts at night, and the throbbing prevents me from finding a comfortable position.
- And the other?
- This is the one I think is most likely... - I clear my throat - ... It reminds me that I'm alive, and that I'll be alive for a long time.
- I think you need help.
- I think you need to be quiet, heart.
Ceejaythe630th
This poem is already different from what you have posted before, with there now being a different writing style for it. Speaking of writing styles, this is a new series from these sets of poems which so far have all have included a negative aspect of human life in someway. Will each series have its own writing style and keep it liken that? ...It is up to your own decision.
This new poem from the Sorrow series changes from the one person perspective writing we've seen so far to a dialogue form of writing between two people. One character can not sleep due to their pounding heart, which concerns the other character who is right by their side. The one character explains how the chest beating has effected them, with the possible reasonings being narrowed down from it trying interrupt their deep thoughts at night while also preventing them to rest comfortably, and the reminder that this one character is alive and will be for a long while, whether they like it or not. The other character tries to suggest that the one character should get help, but instead tells his heart to be quiet.
The ending can be interpreted in two ways: The one character is deep in their head and is too focused on their own problems to not address the other character properly. This interpretation is further supported with the fact the one character talks to their own heart as if was a person two times throughout the poem, while still acknowledging the other character's existence in some cases.
The other possibility is the fact there is no other character, and that it's just the one character and their heart. The only main reasoning that can be seen here is when the one character tells his heart to be quiet after the other character suggest's they get help, but there are other hints alluding to this interpretation. The one character always differs the heart and chest as separate entities rather than just one, with them referring to their chest beating instead of their heart, and always implying that it was the chest that made them anxious without directly mentioning the heart while listing off reasons why their chest was bothering them. The only times the heart was mentioned was at the beginning when the one character hears their heart beat, and at the end where they tell the heart to be quiet. Throughout the poem, the heart tries figure out why the one character is upset with their chest is beating, usually asking question and not speaking much, which could imply they have no idea what they are doing to the character. The heart tries to get the one character to feel better and make them seek help, but the one character tells the heart to be quiet, which either means it in the literal sense, or that the one character wishes death upon themselves, judging from their realization that they will be alive for a long time.
A quite open-ended poem, but it does a good job at it while keeping the implications and deep meanings well hidden. I'd say you did a good job making this, even if it was a shorter poem.